There are countless reasons why you may be in financial hardship.Loss of job, reduction in income, divorce, medical issues...Too many people burn through their savings and retirement before they objectively think about there situation.
If you can't afford your monthly mortgage and you don't see a solution in the immediate future than you should be thinking about a plan. You will eventually probably have to move from your home, but the circumstances of how and when you move can vary widely. Ideally you will move on your terms with at least some money left. Many times it is more prudent and self preserving to stop paying your mortgage before you take money from your 401K.
The worst thing that can happen to you is that your home gets foreclosed on and the bank then evicts you. That process takes quite a long time and in Connecticut the bank is legally forced to try to work out a solution other than foreclosure for 60 days. You probably have more time than you think.
For a full analysis of your situation contact a short sale expert. I, Jason Milligan of Milligan Realty .com have dedicated myself to helping people short sale their homes. I do everything and read everything I can to stay current on the changing Real Estate environment we are in. If you are even considering a short sale it is in your best interest to at least have a conversation with me.
You can read what some of the clients I have helped have said: Testimonials.
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